Tuesday, January 02, 2007

The School for Scruff: 21.

"Von Zstrongarm, old man, I think that's excessively brutal, even for you."
I gasped in surprise. There, in the 'parlour' was Sir Richard Arcos. And he was holding a gun. Lady Arcos went one better, and she was holding a tommy-gun and wearing an expression that looked like it belonged to a gangster's moll.
"Yeah, you dirty rat," she said.
"Am I to conclude that the young lady is a friend of yours, Sir Richard?"
"You might. Grey?"

Sis smiled up from where she was lounging.
"Hi there, Baron. We just wanted to make sure she was safe before we confronted you."
"You see," Sir Richard continued, "we don't approve of this idea of yours to make yourself dictator of the world. So we're going to stop you."
"Pah! You can't..."
Suddenly all the doors of the Grange slammed shut. Emily appeared inside the room.
"We can. This is the Outsider. She's a pretty handy girl to have around. I know she doesn't look like much..."
One of the prefects went for a gun. Emily shot him through the wrist.
"No guns," Sir Richard warned. "My darling wife and I will be here to enforce that rule. And should it once be broken my little Sammykins here will no longer feel bad about squeezing the trigger on that splendid relic of days gone by that she's holding, and she'll spray the room with hot lead. You have been warned."
"Yeah," Lady Arcos said, her tone telling everyone that she was just itching to open fire. I ran to her side.
"Matron!" Von Zstrongarm boomed. Emily laughed.
"I dealt with her. You're the leader, Baron. So you're going to pay!"
She and Sis sprang on the Baron's prefects. The prefects were tough, but Sis and Emily do Judo and things like that. We watched as they laid out the prefects. Von Zstrongarm looked on in horror.
"No! My agents..."
"I've got the list, old man," Sir Richard replied. "If I send it to MI5, or the CIA, or someone like that, you might end up very dead. And if you try to jump Sam... too late."
The Baron had taken a chance, and he leaped at Lady Arcos. She discharged her tommy-gun in his chest, and then it was all over. He was very dead, and Hapt was staring at the bloodied corpse.
"Baron!" he cried. Then he tried to attack Lady Arcos and got a dozen bullets in his head.
"It's over," Sis said. She hugged me. "Thanks, Scruff."
"That's okay," I smiled. "Only don't ask me to do this again. Like ever."
"Well, not until next time," she replied with a laugh.
"And now," Sir Richard said with evident satisfaction, "shall we go down the pub?"
No-one disagreed with him.

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