Our Sunday

The Green Man likes to put up his 'Sunday Supplements', which I kind of enjoy. So I thought I'd write about our Sunday. 'us' being me and Scruff, as we have to leave Emily at home.

The Morning Meeting at my church is at eleven, but we have a prayer-meeting at ten. After I'd dressed, cooked breakfast, got Scruff out of bed, put lunch on and got Scruff out of bed again, we hurried around the corner to Salem Chapel, where the deacon greeted us and we took our seats in my pew. I have to say it's kind of nice having someone to share it with who isn't under the age of five. Of course Scruff isn't terribly popular, since she insists on wearing trousers and not wearing a hat (both of which are activities frowned on my the church, although strangely Alice's wearing fishnet tights and a come-hither look isn't. Yet, anyhow.
The prayer meeting was begun by Greg Nithsdale, senior deacon. He spoke for fifteen minutes from Psalm 117, and then the men of the church prayed in turn. We sang a hymn about divine election from Gadsby's, I forget which one, but then there are a lot to choose from.

At the end of the prayer-meeting we had fifteen minutes to prepare for the service, which was announced by the minister (a visitor, not our pastor, who's eighty-four) suddenly appearing in the high pulpit. He announced that Keith Hanley, the other deacon, would read Psalm 19. Unfortunately Keith, who's ninety-eight, misheard him and began to read Psalm 119. Mr. Nithsdale stopped him after verse 59, by which time Scruff was busy building a tower out of hymn-books in our pew (it's a bad habit she has).

I tried to ignore her. Which was hard when Mr. Nithsdale was giving out the notices, because he was giving me the sort of look he gives me when the next church members meeting is going to have an item about me on the agenda. Funnily, Scruff isn't a member.
After the first hymn our visitor prayed for five minutes. I saw worried looks pass between the elders - twenty minutes is the MINIMUM length of the 'long prayer' in our chapel.
He followed with a reading from Acts 17, and there were more worried looks passed between the deacons. Scruff's tower of hymnbooks was starting to look very unsafe.
We sang another hymn. I think it was 691, but I'm not sure. The visitor gave a talk for the children, who listened intently. It was also addressed to the 'young people', but Scruff didn't seem interested in a story about Christmas shopping. The deacons looked very worried indeed.
When he complained about the verses left out of 'Come ye sinners, poor and needy,' the deacons looked as though they might actually eject the man and read one of J.C. Philpot's sermons that morning, but they gave him the benefit of the doubt. We sang Psalm 150.
When the preacher read from the NIV (Not Inerrant Version, according to old Tom who sits at the back) it was too much. The old Guard stormed the pulpit, egged on by Scruff, and the poor visitor was thrown out. Mr. Nithsdale produced a volume of Philpot and read a sermon.

And they forgot all about Scruff's tower of hymnbooks - fortunately.

That was NOT an ordinary service