The School for Scruff: 11.

History was really kind of fun. And no, I'm not going to tell you what Haupt said, some of it might be useful. And I don't want any of you lousing up any get rich quick scheme I might want to run later in life.
The next subject wasn't so much fun. It was P.E. (I think it stands for physical Education), also called 'Games'.
The Games Mistress was fierce. Okay, Games Mistresses usually are (the one at my old school looked like a concentration camp guard), but this one was sadistic. And it wasn't games the way I ever knew it. We were forced to dress in 'sexy' (me? I don't think so) underwear and try to 'sell' ourselves to a group of upper-sixth boys. Guess what. No-one wanted Scruff. I wasn't too cut up about it, mind you. The boys were going to spend real money and bed the girls that night. I don't like that idea. At all.
"Scruff!" the Games mistress called me over. I ran over to her.
"Yes, miss?" I gave her my most appealing look. Sis says no-one can resist it. Apparently it makes them want to hug me.
"What ARE we going to do with you? If you can't attract a single boy dressed like that you're not going to attract any if you've got more clothes on."
"Miss?'
"We're going to have to find something else you can do."
My first day, and I was officially a problem. Not bad going, I think. If I'd been able to stay longer I might have been the biggest problem in the Lower Sixth.
Or dead, and I don't like the idea of that, so I'm glad I got out when I did.
Then we had some more conventional sports. I loved badminton, but I got banned from that after I hit another girl in the eye. Apparently I have enthusiasm but no talent.
The games mistress at my last school said the same thing. They might be right, too.

At lunch I met up with Karen and Lucy again. Lucy looked rather confused.
"Scruff! What sort of school is this? They were teaching me how to KILL a man in gymn!"
"They were trying to teach me how to sell my body," I replied.
"NO!"
"Oh, it's all right," Karen grinned. "No-one would buy Scruff's body. I'm Karen, by the way, I'm in Scruff's group."
"Hi, I'm Lucy. Scruff, in art we were being taught how to forge banknotes!"
"Yeah," I smiled as we stood in the queue for lunch in a filthy canteen. "We're making coin blanks in metalwork."
"Group 'D' is Haupt's own punishment batallion," Karen explained. "We get dirty jobs, and the prettier of us get trained as tarts to pick up servicemen so we can get information out of them. Scruff looks too... scruffy to pick anyone up. Hey, I saw a bloodstained bandage on your arm. What happened to you?"
"Accident," I replied. "Oh! food!"
As I'd expected, it was awful stuff. The cheapest food in the world - and Turkey Twizzlers too.

"Ugh!" Lucy wrinkled her nose. I smiled.
"What're you beefin' about?" the dinner lady asked, eyes pure poison (like her food).
"Nothing," I said brightly. I moved on.
"I'm vegetarian!" Lucy wailed. The dinner lady laughed.
"Not any more you're not," she said nastily.
Lucy ate hardly anything. Me? Sis says that I've got a pretty healthy appetite. She's right. Anyhow, I needed the energy for the afternoon. And that night I was going to report to the Outsider.