The School for Scruff: 7.

Hi, Scruff here. Our mentors at Pudding Norton College seemed more interested in grooming us for careers as call-girls, and Carole decided I was totally unsuited to such a career. Apparently high-class prostitutes aren't allowed to be untidy the way I am. Like I was bothered by that. I already have a nice life, and I'm strictly moral. In that area anyhow.
The dorm was pretty grotty, walls cracked, the wallpaper peeling, and all furnishings felt like they'd been made cheaply by pupils in woodwork classes. I later found out that they had. Apparently I do have the sort of detective skills Sis has.
The bed was a wooden plank with just a blanket and a sheet to lie on, and another sheet to go on top of me. There was just one pillow. Nothing was particularly clean or new.
"Different from what you're used to, rich girl?" Carole asked.
"I'm not rich. I used to be rich."
"Different?"
"Yes, but I don't mind." I kicked off my shoes and swung my legs up onto the bed.
"Term starts to-morrow," Carole gloated. I stuck my tongue out at her and she left.

[Meanwhile back at the pub] Emily had won the contest with Lady Arcos, and the pub's darts board would never be used again. Emily sat down again next to me with a flurry of black smoky garments. She took a huge gulp of water and laughed.
"My crossbow beats your gun any time," she said. Lady Arcos laughed.
"You're smart! Have you killed lots of people?"
"A few," Emily confessed.
"Would you like to be our daughter?"
"I'm sorry," Sir Richard said with a smile. "Sam likes large families, and after we had our first child we were told we couldn't have any more if Sam wanted to stay alive. So she started adopting.
"Sorry," Emily shook her head. "I'm kind of busy. And the Girl in Grey's so nice to me."
"I thought you worked alone?" Sir Richard said. I laughed.
"What can I say? I came back from Spain to find Scruff had moved in to my flat, then Emily turned up. She's staying with the Green Man most of the time, but if she wants to stay with me I've got a spare room for mer."
"Good for you. I always thought you should have some back-up. And now our cook should have prepared a vast banquet for us. Shall we retire?"
"If you mean go back to your place, of course."
Sir Richard wasn't kidding about the vast banquet. Fortunately Emily has a healthy appetite, but I ended the day feeling rather bloated and glad there was nothing to do that night except to sleep.
Emily elected to share a four-poster with me, and I fell asleep next to her black smoky form.

It was two in the morning when I was woken by a terrifying scream and the sound of a machine-gun being fired.