From the Grey files: The Spanish Prisoner!

One morning I was sitting around in my grey headquarters, dressed in my grey pyjamas, while Samantha was helping me deal with the mail and the other cats were doing their best to get in our way, Samantha picked up an odd-looking envelope. I slit it open with the small dagger I use as a letter-opener and read:

"Dear One

I do appologise for approaching you in this manner but my present condition has made me to desperately seek your help.My name is Mr Raymond Blanc. I was a first year medical student of the university of cocody, Abidjan in Cote d'ivoire until october 2004 when the rebels in my country struck our town and on the process i lost my parents who are my source of joy and inspiration.

My father Dr Jean-Quassi Blanc was before his untimely death a serving director with the national cocoa Exporting board and the chairman board of trustees Nacope Cocoa farmers Co-operative society.

Before his death, he informed me of a foriegn account he has with a bank here in my country where he deposited the sum of 9.5million US Dollars. According to him, the money will be used to construct an ultra-modern medical complex where i will start my life after graduation. After the burial i approached the bank director where the money was deposited to find out how i can have access to the money but was told by the director that my father has an agreement with them. The money was deposited in a suspense fixed account with a clause attached to it for onward transfer into a foreign account. That the bank will follow the agreement written and signed by both (the bank and my Father).The director adviced me that my father stated in the agreement that in his absent,i should seek for a foriegn guardian from any country of my choice who will stand on my behalf as my guardian and the new beneficairy of the fund to enable the bank make the transfer.He said that my father warned i should not invest the money here because of the raging crisis and fear of his enemies.

Why I contacted you.

Due to the agreement my late Father had with the bank during deposit coupled with the fact that my secuity here can not be guarranteed,I hereby ask you to do me a favour by standing as my foreign Guardian and the new beneficiary of the money to enable the bank effect the transfer. Precisely i need your help in the following ways

1.To provide an account where the money will be transfered to.
2.To stand as my guardian and the new beneficairy of the fund to enable the bank make the transfer to your foriegn bank account in line with my fathers agreement with the bank.
3. To accept me in your family as your son since i do not have any body to take care of me.
4.To make arrangement for me to come over to your country to start a new life especially for me to complete my studies.You will also be the one to invest and mange the money for me until i'm able to handle it myself.

I have plans to invest this money in continuation with the investment vision of my late father, but not in this place again rather in your country.

I will give you 25% of the total sum for compensation after the sucessful transfer of the money in your safe account overseas.

Dear, if you will be kind enough to assist me, kindly indicate by replying back.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely

Raymond Blanc "

Then I laughed out loud. As a mysterious avenger of crime, I recognised the nature of the letter immediately. It was a version of what is called the 'Spanish Prisoner' con, one of the oldest in the book.
Just to make sure, I checked my files (and the internet), and sent the following reply:

"Bucko, you'll have to do better than that. a LOT better. Medical student? Perhaps 'Spanish Prisoner' would be a better description. This con is so old that it has a very long white beard. Your name is not, nor has it ever been, Raymond Blanc, and your father sure as anything never left any money in a bank account for you, since you are in fact an unsavoury little crook, and if your father had any sense he disowned you long ago. Your father was not Dr Jean-Quassi Blanc, as such a person never existed. The Nacope Cocoa farmers Cooperative is also a non-existent organization. What is more, the university you claim to have attended has no record of your ever being a student there. So, bucko, you're caught on the horns of a dilemma. Did you really think I'd just take your word for it? You'll have to get up one heck of a lot earlier in the morning to con me, you cheap swindler. Fancy thinking I'd fall for the old 'Spanish Prisoner' routine! You must think I was born yesterday! Or maybe you thought I was someone else.
Unfortunately for you (Bucko), you reached me, not some fat, juicy little pigeon who'd gladly allow you to take her for a long walk off a short pier.
No deal. I'm wise to you, and justice is on its way. It will strike when you least expect it.

The Girl in Grey."

My contacts and my technological expertise enabled me to quickly track down 'Raymond Blanc' (his name's not Raymond, and he's not Blanc) in a souk in Algiers. Once in my power the criminal, whose real name proved to be J. Bucky Akenbola (brother of the more famous crook O. Bucky Akenbola), confessed all and begged for mercy while weeping like a girl. I was not moved. Instead I locked him in a rat-infested dungeon in Spain superintended by a couple I once saved from a vicious killer, with instructions to feed him on bread and water, while supplying him with unlimited writing materials.
Now he really IS a Spanish prisoner!