Monday, November 27, 2006

The School for Scruff: 2.


Scruff and I arrived at the May Fair hotel a few minutes before her interview was due to start. I led the way into the lobby.
"Miss Hill?"
The man's voice was cultured, and he was dressed in a hotel uniform
"Yes?" I replied.
"I was told to look out for a young woman with a scruffy teenaged female in tow. Would you come with me please?"
Fighting the urge to do the man serious injury, I followed him from the lobby, Scruff following me.
The May Fair is not my favourite hotel in London. I like older buildings, with cosy nooks where a girl can hide. But I rather enjoyed seeing the looks on the faces of the hotel's patrons as they saw Scruff. I was dressed conservatively, but smartly, in a tailored suit of grey, a pair of stockings, and shiny black shoes. I'd aloso adopted my brilliant Clark Kent-style disguise of a pair of spectacles. Unfortunately there's not a lot you can do to alter a bob in terms of hair styling. Still, the glasses added a certain studiousness and severity to my appearance that is not usually associated with me. By anyone.
We were shown into a panelled room and three gentlemen and two ladies rose to greet us.
"Miss Hill," a tall, handsome man in a suit extended a hand to me.
"Which one?" I asked. "We're sisters."
"The older one," he smiled. His accent said that he was not British."
"That would be me," I told him. "Jane Hill. This is Scruff, my sister."
"Scruff? You said her name was..."
I laughed.
"Sorry! It is, but everyone calls her Scruff."
"I see. Sorry, I am not English. Baron Augustus Von Sztrongarm. I am the headmaster of Pudding Norton College. Of course we are always glad to have new students."
"I know. Scruff's really looking forward to it. I know you'll have heard she was expelled from her last school, but I think she's learned her lesson."
Of course Scruff had not been expelled, but I persuaded her old headmaster to tell von Sztrongarm that she had been. It made her sound rather disreputable.
"Of course she has. Well, Lilian..."
"It's Scruff," she insisted.
"Sorry, Scruff. Scruff, your sister believes you will do well at our School. We have a long history, and many distinguished former pupils. One, Miss Lucy Armitage, is making a million a year..."
As a high-class call-girl, I thought.
The Baron turned back to me.
"Miss Hill, you know it is rather irregular for us to take a new sixth-form student the week before term starts."
"Oh, I know. Only I can't find any other school to take Scruff, and she really needs a good education. If you don't take her she might have to go to a state school!" I spoke the last two words as if they represented a disaster of epic proportions. They don't, but Baron Von Sztrongarm didn't know that. It made me sound a snob, the sort of snob who might be fooled into sending her kid sister to Pudding Norton College.
"Of course, Miss Hill. Thankfully there is a place open in our lower sixth, and I think that Lili.. ah, Scruff will fit into it quite well. Here are our school uniform requirements. You know that we require two terms' fees in advance."
"I have the cheque here," I handed it over. Business expenses, I told myself, and expenses I'd recoup about a hundred times if I played this right.
These are the trustees," The Baron indicated the other people. "Technically they have to be present at interviews for new students. But you are a special case, Miss Hill. Thank you." He stood up as I did and kissed my hand.
"Thank you, Miss Hill. I am sure Scruff will enjoy life at Pudding Norton College. Scruff, we shall meet again next week."
"Thanks," I smiled. "You've no idea how important this is to me!"
"I am sure I do not, dear lady."
And with that we left. Out in the street Scruff laughed.
"Sis! You were hilarious!"
"I hope you realise my act got you in. Now come on - we have to get you kitted out for your new school!"

2 comments:

The Green Man said...

The Baron's doom must be assured.

The Girl in Grey said...

But of course. And then cocktails for three (and soft drinks for two) at a little place I know?