Sunday With Scruff: Vague Church

Last Sunday Alice persuaded me to come with her to another 'new' church that met in a pub. She wasn't too sure what they called themselves.
I told Lynette about it, and she said she'd come along if I wore a dress. I wore my Pudding Norton College uniform, and Lynette had to keep her promise.

We met the others on the way to the pub, and so we arrived together. We were met on the door by an enthusiastic-looking young man who gave me and Lynette funny looks.
"It's my school," I told him.
"Yes, but... I did safe-cracking there..."
"So did I! We have to talk about it... later." I nolticed Lynette glaring at me. She does that.
"Er... welcome to... er... church," the young man said.
We went into the bar and took our seats. There was an overhead projector on the bar, and a man with a Bible seated behind the bar.
"All right," a girl in a loose-fitting dress and glasses went up to the bar, carrying a guitar. "Shall we worship God?" she sounded kind of unsure.
"Sure!" I yelled. I got more funny looks.
A song went up on the projector. I read.

Lord I love you,
Lord, you're wonderful.

For about fifteen verses.
The next song was:

I love you,
You're wonderful.

When our next song was,

Love you,
Wonderful,

I began to suspect they really only had one song, and they were cutting words out to make it sound like it was more than one.

Then we stopped, which was great because one of the lines of the song had become a single word, and a song that went

You
Full

might have made me laugh.
We had a reading from something called the 'Really Good Thing Bible', which sounded like it had been written for eight-year-olds (It had).
Then the man behind the bar stood up.
"The Gospel's really simple," he said. "We don't do theology. Theology's really complicated and difficult, but the Gospel's easy. Jesus did something or other that somehow or other has something or other to do with our being saved somehow or other. It's really simple. We don't need theology. We don't even need to have gone to school or to have learned to read and write. I dropped out of school at fourteen to take drugs, and I can understand it."
He went on like this for twenty minutes, then we closed the meeting by singing,

You,
Full.

Then we would have gone down the pub, but we were already in one, so we went home. Emily had been in another church... but I'll let her tell you about it.